Straight Talk Advice

Nov 10, 2005

Unconditional love means confidential access to a doctor

Dear Straight Talk: I’m a mother of grown daughters and I’ve been reading the columns on the dilemma girls face regarding whether or not to confide in their parents over things like birth control and pregnancy. To make sure my girls never found themselves in a similar situation, or for that matter, for any medical condition requiring the attention of a physician, I signed a form with our family doctor saying that anytime they needed medical care they could receive it without my knowledge.

Of course, I expressed that they could come to me at any time for guidance, care, and assistance should anything arise. I used the analogy that if they ran out into the street in front of a car and were injured, I would be very worried, but not angry that they did something I had told them over and over not to do, and that I would help them by seeking immediate medical care. When they’re in trouble, it’s not the time to reject them! That’s why I gave my girls every opportunity to get the help they needed, including being able to see our family doctor confidentially.

It is my understanding that many Family Practitioners have forms available for parents to sign in advance for appropriate care of their children should the need arise.—Peace of mind

Dear Peace of mind: What a great idea. As a parent, nothing makes me feel better than knowing my kids have access to a trusted doctor. Care such as you’ve described proves to your children that you value them unconditionally. Teens who feel valued are less prone to peer pressure and make more esteemed choices in general.


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