Straight Talk Advice

May 27, 2009

Real faces, not Facebook, best ticket for love

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: This girl at my school added me as a friend on Facebook and we started talking online and texting and passed a lot of personal information back and forth. The thing is, we had only talked in person twice, and now we knew so much about each other from talking online that when we spotted each other at school, it was like, what is there left to talk about? We’ve pretty much stopped texting and chatting and I’m disappointed because I really want to get to know her. How have others made the jump from online to real life? — Santa Rosa

Rachel 17, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question
This is my problem, too. You start texting or talking online and get to know at least the basics about each other, but then those first few times hanging out you don’t know what to talk about. But, really, you just have to push through it. Re-ask questions, expand on things you’ve talked about. If you’re meant to be it will just flow.
Jack 18, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

Nothing beats face-to-face, so start a conversation with her It takes a lot of guts and she knows that.

Hannah 17, Auburn, CA Ask me a question

I had a relationship with this guy from my school where we’d text and sometimes talk on the phone, but never in person. We had two classes together, too, so it felt really ridiculous. We finally decided to meet outside of school and we hit it off But, still, no talking at school. Then, out of the blue, he comes up and kisses me We aren’t together now but we’re amazingly good friends and had a really good relationship while it lasted. So don’t be afraid Make a move, look how it worked for me

Shelby 17, Auburn, CA Ask me a question

It sounds like you are the type that freezes up in person. I’m the same way and talking on MySpace or texting is much easier. If I were her, I would want you to just walk up to me and put your arm on my shoulder and be like, “What? Not talking to me anymore?” real playful-like. Then see where it goes.

Graham 15, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

Just because you’ve done the small talk doesn’t mean there isn’t more conversation to be had. Since it’s been awhile since you last “talked”, next time you see her, ask how she’s doing, and what’s new.

Lennon 22, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

Talking only online to someone is like knowing them and not knowing them at the same time. This new communication is screwy that way. Someone will ask to be my friend on Facebook with nothing in real life to initiate the friendship other than knowing who I am. Then it’s awkward when I see them in person because I don’t really know them. I recommend inviting your girl to do something that will give you something to talk about beyond get-to-know-you questions.

Jessie 16, Ashland, OR Ask me a question

I’ve gotten to know several people through MySpace and Facebook, and even though we all went to the same school, only one made it to the real world. It’s hard, especially if one or both of the people are shy. Make contact, either in person or online, and suggest a time to hang out. When you see her, bring up a topic you discussed online and follow it. If you don’t give it a shot, you’ll never know what could’ve happened.

DEAR SANTA ROSA: You can assess compatibility and bond more in 5 minutes of face-time than 5 decades online. My advice to all lonely teens out there: Get out from behind the computer. Join clubs, sport teams, church groups, any activity where you engage with the same faces regularly. Those are the faces you’ll make memories with, not Facebook faces.

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