Straight Talk Advice

NoFap movement supports porn-addiction recovery

Apr 07, 2015

Getting off pornography lifts brain fog, real-girl terror

Dear Straight Talk: Until recently, I experienced social anxiety, concentration problems and was terrified by real girls. I got into porn in fifth grade and became addicted like so many guys. Last year, I decided to stop. I relapsed a lot, but I'm at 90 days clear, my longest stretch. Not only have I gained confidence talking with girls, but my constant brain fog and social anxiety has lifted. I'm focused and excited about life, which seemed impossible. Many guys defend porn, but it's actually a nightmare. The support of the NoFap community on Reddit was/is vital. I hope my letter helps others break free. —21 and Finally Living

Grant 17, Concord, Calif. Ask me a question

I concur that it's a nightmare. I got addicted in middle school, googling things like “girl in bikini” on my iPod Touch and things unraveled from there. I was even caught and swore it off. Temptation returned and I'd be glued to it at 2AM on a school night. Porn addiction is a major societal problem. The internet is the gateway and everyone has access. Boys are growing up sexually disrespectful to girls and girls don't take a stand because porn mannerisms have become acceptable. Get into music, sports or schoolwork to keep your mind off pornography. It's worth it.

Lisa 23, Eugene, Ore. Ask me a question

People underestimate how mainstream pornography is — and how non-solitary it has become. Guys watch it and talk about it all the time, with girls expected to join in, and many college friends casually watch it together. While some women do enjoy porn, many pretend it's exciting to avoid being labeled a prude. Many males probably do the same to appear masculine. Hi-speed porn is the core problem of the instant-gratification generation. With endless clicks to different sites, it’s not surprising porn ruins the ability to focus, not only on one's partner, but on life. Self-confidence and focus is attractive and porn teaches the opposite. Glad to hear you’re so much happier. People assume if you're against porn, you're against sex — completely untrue. It’s time to reclaim our sexuality.

Samantha 23, Toledo, Ohio Ask me a question

Congratulations! It takes real willpower to conquer an addiction — and this one has become societal. All ages are accustomed to watching sex on TV and hardcore pornography is prevalent. Both destroy the sanctity of marriage.

Kat 20, Eugene, Ore. Ask me a question

The sacred emotional union of sex has been reduced to “getting off.” Porn has twisted our perception of intimacy, including how women should dress, look and act.

Meghan 21, College Station, Penn. Ask me a question

I never became addicted to porn, but I've experienced addiction. The state of addiction is safe, sometimes exhilarating and always easy. After coming out of it, I had energy to get up and out every single morning, excitement to meet someone new or figure out something difficult, and willpower to make and follow through with plans. Breaking habits isn't easy. What helped was thinking about quitting every single time I was in the act. I saw in my mind that smarter, healthier, focused version of myself. Seeing is believing and believing makes things happen.

Dear 21 and Finally Living: Congratulations on your recovery! And thank you for sharing about the NoFap (abstinence from pornography and/or masturbation) movement. Readers: Nearly 150,000 “fapstronauts” (abstainers), report increased confidence, concentration, motivation and libido — including recovery from pornography-induced erectile dysfunction. Read for yourself at reddit.com/r/NoFap. Millions of American boys (and increasing numbers of girls) are addicted to hardcore porn (average onset, age 11), with huge effects, not just on libido, but on the brain. Hence my steadfast advocacy of flip phones, centralized computers, and low/no TV (with its constant soft-core triggers) for children and teens, along with frank education about the effects of porn so kids are self-motivated to shun it.

Editor's Note: This is your brain on porn: brain fog, social anxiety, lack of drive, inability to concentrate, awkwardness around girls. Which sounds a lot like your brain on drugs. It also sounds like many of today's teenage and pre-teen boys making one wonder about the rise in ADD diagnoses and if they could be related to porn viewing.  American children start seeing/watching porn as early as age 6 and the average age for consuming hardcore pornography is 11. By 16, four out of five kids regularly access online pornography. It is very addicting and difficult to quit, particularly for boys who are hard-wired to be attracted to visual sexual images.

According to the book "Your Brain on Porn," porn actually can rewire the brain and affects many traits associated with manliness: confidence, clarity, drive, libido, erectile function, good posture, muscle tone, hair growth and low voice tone (associated with increased testosterone) — and finding natural women beautiful and exciting (as opposed to comparing them to porn standards).

I'm glad the NoFap movement is gaining momentum. Questioning porn still leads to the "prude" or "anti-sex" label and shuts people down from discussing it, but the more men who recover and are willing to talk about it (and hundreds of thousands are doing just that on these sites), the more the dangers are exposed and the more men "get a new grip on life".

Below are a few comments from the NoFap comment board on Reddit. They match what our panelist, Gregg, said in a 2011 porn column: "The top ‘man stud’ at my college doesn’t watch porn." Go to Reddit and read for yourself the comments from the supportive, inspirational NoFap community, or send someone there that you love. —Lauren

• "I've always had a weird relationship with girls. I'm nineteen and I have never even kissed a girl, or held a girl's hand. Yet I had ridiculously high standards of both looks and personality and felt a weird kind of... contempt, almost, for anyone who was beneath them, which was nearly everyone. But guys, thank God, that insane attitude has just completely dissipated over the last few months. Everyone looks beautiful to me, to the extent where sometimes I'll just say to friends, "all the girls here look really pretty today," or even once "all the girls here are dressed really beautifully today." This is probably the best thing that has happened, to have dragged my mind free from that filthy mire and be able to appreciate real, natural women. That alone has made it worth it. To have girls noticing me back, and a friend (a girl who is in a relationship), smile at me while the group was talking about relationships and say "no-one would break up with you," makes the whole experience even more amazing."

• "For me, whilst on a relapse streak, a week passes by without me realizing it. Meaning that when I look back at my week at the end of it, all the days blur together because I did the same boring, lazy, unproductive crap everyday. However, on an abstinence streak, everyday is memorable. I sometimes forget I even use to watch porn, masturbate and the likes. At the end of a week it feels as if a whole month passed by because of all that was accomplished throughout it. Anybody ever felt the same? Reminder to myself: I cannot turn 17 and still be addicted to myself. Grow up."

• "Hey guys, day 5! and yesterday already start to feel a base energy in my pubic that makes me feel good about myself. It's like feeling more secure that there is tremendous power in me. Amazing. I noticed my voice is deeper. And my dad who used to not respect people and nags at people, seems to nag at me less and in the past few days hasn't been finding fault with me. . .

• "When I had my most recent [NoFap] streak I felt more relaxed in social situations and my erections were stronger when I had sex. I also definitely felt my voice get deeper as well."

• "Been able to eat healthy and exercise consistently since starting nofap. Lost weight (20 lbs so far), might be in the best shape of my whole life. Music is AMAZING now."

• "i was doing a lot of reflection this past weekend and i realized i had erectyle disfunction since i was 18 years old, 33 now. I remember it because now (i'm married) if my wife even kisses me i get as hard as a brick. when i was 17 or 18 i was dating this girl and. . . when we would make out, i don't ever remember being hard or wanting to devour her. Last night my wife made out with me and i swear i felt like an animal. . .  so i definitely can pinpoint now to 17 or 18 years old, that's how far back this disease had a hold on my life :( wow!"

• "90+ days free: I used to have skin issues, which included acne, seborrheic dermatitis, and folliculitis, and dry & oily skin... they are gone, and my skin is perfect. . . I was always grossly skinny, and had a weak flimsy body now that I remember it. Without any difference in exercise or diet, I'm muscular, stronger, fuller and have a sound body, which also appears taller. My voice is deeper and clearer. Clear mind, not anxious or depressed or confused, confident, energetic, no fatigue, and so on.

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  1. By S.L., age 15, from Carmichael, CA on 04/07/2015

    I’m concerned that my older brother who is 17 may be addicted to porn.  He was being very secretive about something and one time when I came into our room unexpectedly he was very hurriedly sticking something under clothes in his dresser drawer and was just acting kind of “suspicious.”  We respect each others private space, and I normally don’t snoop in his space and expect him to respect my privacy.  However, curiosity got the better of me and he had been acted kind of strange lately, so I checked the drawer when he wasn’t there.  I actually was thinking that it might be drugs, not what I found which was very sick pornography.  I’m not talking about something like Playboy or “nudie” pictures, this stuff was really sick and literally made me want to barf and also showed graphic sexual violence against women.  I know if I told our mom he’d be in huge trouble, so I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to get him in trouble.  However, it worries me since we have to share a room and undress in front of each other.  (I’m a girl.)  He’s never shown any sexual interest in me, so it’s never really bothered me for him to see me nude or for me to see him.  I sometimes see him with a boner, but I figured that all guys his age get them.  I don’t know if his looking at porn means that he would want to do anything sexual with me, and I have seen no indication that it does.  I also wonder if I’m better off with him having porn as an outlet as that may make it less likely for him to have sexual interest in me.  However, it still makes me nervous now that I know that he is looking at such sick pornography and we’re sharing a room and seeing each other nude.

    S.L.

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    1. By N.R., age 17, from Monterey, California on 04/07/2015

      It’s time for you to find different sleeping arrangements!  I don’t know if my brother was looking at porn, but when I saw him getting boners when he saw me naked when he was 16 and I was 14, I knew that it was time for a change!  It meant moving in with my 8 year old half-sister who was a real pest and drives me crazy, but I felt it was necessary and at least I could undress and be naked in the bedroom without giving someone a sexual turn-on.  And it’s unfair to your brother to be in this position as has been written about in Straight Talk many times even if he is looking at sick porn.  I didn’t want to embarrass my brother by telling our mom what was going on, so I just said that I wasn’t comfortable sharing a room with a boy any more at my age and she understood.  I don’t know if you have a sister you could move in with but if not if your mom’s a single parent you could ask to share with her but you don’t say in your comment if she is.  But even if you have to take turns sleeping on the couch, something needs to change.  Even though I don’t enjoy sharing a room with my half-sister and always have been much closer to my brother, I’m still glad I made the change.  At least we’re both girls so undressing and nudity in front of each other is not a sexual issue.

      N.R.

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      1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

        Dear N.R. – You are one smart girl. Thank you for sharing! – Love, Lauren

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    2. By R.C., age 19, from Irvine, CA on 04/08/2015

      N.R. is right, and I speak from experience!  I got addicted to porn when I was 17 by looking at pornographic material that our stepfather did not make much of an effort to hide.  The way he made it so easy to find, I now almost think for some sick reason he wanted me to find it, and it’s hard to believe that our mom didn’t know.  However, at the time I thought I was getting away with looking at something “forbidden” and got hooked on it.  At the same time, my little sister was beginning puberty and developing breasts and pubic hair.  Unfortunately, we had to share a room because our stepfather was too cheap to pay for a bigger apartment and saw no problem with the arrangement.  Since I was her big brother whom she loved and trusted and I had always been very good to her, I don’t think she had any idea that I could have sexual feelings toward her and she wasn’t shy about nudity in front of me.  Well, being hooked on pornography caused me to have very perverted thoughts toward females, and even incestuous feelings toward my sister.  Being hooked on pornography made the danger to my sister much worse; it did NOT give me an outlet that kept me from having sexual feelings toward my little sister.

      Fortunately, I was able to keep myself from acting on my feelings.  However, something terrible could have happened, it the pornography significantly added to the risk. 

      I am now in college and have gotten over my addition to pornography and am able to have normal relationships with girls and have no sexual feelings toward my sister any longer (thank God!).  Our stepfather is now gone and when I come home on vacations, my sister bunks with our mom and I stay in what is now her room but used to be “our” room, which is a much safer and healthier arrangement.

      I think you are in a very vulnerable situation if you are sharing a room with your brother, allowing him to see you nude, and you see him getting erections!  This is a very dangerous situation, and you must find a different arrangement if at all possible.  If it is totally impossible to find a different room arrangement, at the very least, stop being nude in front of him for God’s sake!  At a minimum you could change in the bathroom.  While it may be inconvenient, it is far better than what could happen!

      R.C.

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      1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

        Dear R.C.—I am so grateful you took the time to write. I’m also glad to hear you are off pornography completely. Yes, I have seen other instances where fathers or stepfathers seem to be encouraging their boys to look at porn. (Like they need it, the world is infested right now.) Again, thank you SO MUCH for being more convincing that I can ever be for sisters and brothers to NOT share a bedroom once puberty hits. –Love, Lauren

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    3. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

      Dear S.L.: I can’t agree more with N.R., R.C., and M.B. and am grateful they wrote in with words more convincing than I could ever write, to stop sharing a bedroom with your brother. Even if you are only in a 2-bedroom house, there is always, always a creative solution. Tell your mother you are no longer comfortable sharing a room with him due to your age (you can think about how to deal with his pornography addiction later… first, just get yourself out of there). No other explanation will be necessary and none is usually ever asked for. You can ask for a room divider for the bedroom, or be willing to form a sleeping nook in a corner of the living room separated with a room divider if there is no other option. Or maybe your brother goes there and you keep the room. Or you trade one year off, one year on. Do it today! –Love, Lauren

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  2. By M.B., age 16, from Vacaville, CA on 04/09/2015

    It was the same way with me.  My sisters had their own room, so I didn’t have to share a room with them.  But like others I’ve read about in Straight Talk, they didn’t worry about nudity in front of me since I was just their “little brother.”  They’d go to the shower naked and walk around in a bra and thong or tshirt and thong and sometimes didn’t close their door when they were undressing.  Since I’d been seeing them this way my whole life, it didn’t really iterest me even when I reached puberty and stared having sexual feelings.  But when I was 14, a friend loaned me some porn magazines that he swiped out of his dad’s stash and said that his dad had so much he wouldn’t even miss it.  Once I started looking at porn, I got hooked on it and started having perverted sexual feelings and seeing my sisters naked and in their thongs also started turning me on and giving me hardons and I would sometimes think about them when I masturbated which made me feel very guilty and perverted.  I obviously couldn’t tell anybody about the feelings I was having and as others have said, it really wasn’t right for me to be in this position.  I just told my mom that it made me feel embarrassed to be seeing me sisters this way at my age so I didn’t have to tell her about my perverted feelings.  She had a talk with them and they stopped doing these things and stayed in their room with the door closed when they were undressed which was a great relief to me!  Looking at porn definitely made the situation worse.  Luckily, after a while I lost interest in the porn and no longer have any interest in looking at something like that and also no longer have feelings about my sisters that I shouldn’t be having.

    M.B.

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    1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

      Dear M.B.—Wow, thank you for sharing so that others can learn. I really commend you for speaking to your mother instead of just letting this go. So many boys don’t know what to say and think they will be questioned. You have helped many today see that it’s easy, you just say it makes you embarrassed at your age. Period. No need to elaborate and they won’t ask for it. Glad you lost interest for porn and if you care to share about that process it would be appreciated. Thank you a million! – Love, Lauren

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  3. By C.R., age 41, from Lodi, California on 04/10/2015

    I have a similar issue and don’t know how to handle it.  It is hard to put into words, but my 16 year old son had been acting “different” lately and my motherly instincts told me that something was wrong.  I was scared to death that it was drugs with all I have heard and read about teenage drug issues lately (including in Straight Talk).  I therefore searched his room when he was at school.  I did not find drugs.  Instead, I found very horrible and sickening pornography.  It really concerns me that he is looking at such material and that he may be or could become addicted to it.  I also have daughters who are 17 and 14.  My younger daughter is extremely modest and would never expose her body to her brother.  She will not permit anyone to see her nude or even in her underwear except her sister with whom she shares a room and ideolizes.  She will not even permit me to see her undressed, her own mother.  My older daughter is the total opposite and thinks nothing of walking around nude or in just her thong even in front of her brother.  It never seemed to bother my son and since it obviously did not bother her, I didn’t worry about it and actually thought it was positive that she had such a healthy attitude about her body.  However, based upon what I have read in this week’s column and the fact that I know that he is looking at pornography, I now am very concerned.

    I can tell me older daughter that it is no longer appropriate to be nude in front of her brother and if she wants to be carefree about nudity to stick to the bedroom with the door closed where no one will see her but her sister who would have no problem.  However, I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I know that my son is looking at pornography and how to put a stop to it when I admittedly invaded his privacy by searching his room.

    C.R.

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    1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

      Dear C.R.: You had cause and you snooped. That’s what parents are supposed to do. We have done columns on it and the panelists are unanimous that snooping for cause is appropriate and they are even grateful for it because where there is cause, there is effect and someone negatively affected needs help. You snooped and found pornography… and this is as drug-like as finding drugs. Yes, telling your daughter no more family nudity is good for starters.

      For the pornography, I’m next to certain this is the tip of the iceberg and if he has a smart phone or access to a computer, internet porn is also involved. You don’t say if you are a single mother, but it sounds like you might be. Just like dealing with a drug problem, it’s best to rally responsible help first. Confide in your son’s father if he will be a help, not a hindrance, and another friend/family member, preferably male, who is strong emotionally and understands the effects of pornography and isn’t a covert supporter of it himself (it’s amazing how porn has recently taken over many men). Possibly screen your male friends/family members to see where they stand before airing the issue. Once you have help, it’s time to talk to him about it. Not that you all approach him at once, that’s overwhelming, but if you can’t handle it, say it’s too embarrassing or unnerving for you, have the male family friend do it. It probably will work better even if you ARE comfortable to have a male handle this. But make it KNOWN to your son that you know, you snooped, you are behind the disciplinary action, and that you are fully justified in doing so. You have to really screw your backbone on and be in full integrity and authority that it is/was okay under these circumstances that you snooped. It’s your business to investigate if your son is no longer acting like himself. You have instincts and it was/is your job to act on them. And that is why you have brought in Uncle So and So to help.

      Uncle needs to be willing to follow through. There should be regular random room checks and computer/phone checks by someone tech savvy (similar to drug testing). Discipline should/could involve demotion to flip phone and any computers should be put in public areas of the house facing outward with time on them limited to homework. It also will be good to ask around for a referral to a good therapist (again, male will be best) that your son can see to get over the addiction. I would also send him to the nofap site on Reddit for a support group. I know this sounds like a lot, but I would do the same thing for drugs and we know now that porn has a huge effect on the brain as noted in today’s column; as you noticed, the porn today isn’t just naked girlie pics, a lot of it’s very disturbing. Please let me know how it goes. Your son will thank you, if not out loud due to embarrassment, internally. – Love, Lauren

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  4. By Sarah, age 42, from Santa Ana, CA on 04/10/2015

    Don’t parents have any common sense anymore?  Many teenagers don’t have common sense, but there is no excuse for parents! I don’t know how many times I have read in Straight Talk (including this week) about such things as teenage brothers and sisters sharing a room and undressing in front of each other and teenage girls parading around nude or in thong underwear in front of their brothers.  Such things are so totally inappropriate that no one should need to be told.  I would never permit this in my family!  My daughters have to share a room the same size as their brother’s room which is very small for 2 to share and requires bunk beds and the quarters are still very tight.  However, they do not complain as they realize that I am doing the best I can as a single parent on a limited income.  Having only one bathroom means no privacy for the girls during the morning rush (sometimes even during bowel movements) while my son gets to use the bathroom in private, but again they do not complain.  The girls have no problem with nudity in front of each other, but only undress in their room with the door closed and always wear a robe when they go to take a shower as does my son.  These things seem so obvious, that I am shocked that they are written about so much in this column and elsewhere.

    On the pornography issue, I am confident that my son would never look at such material.  I respect his privacy because he has never given me reason to believe that I cannot trust him.  However, if he were to exhibit suspicious behavior, I would not hesitate to search his room and if I found pornography or evidence of drug use, I would deal with it immediately and strictly.  I see my daughters nude often enough that if there was an issue such as anorexia, pregnancy, or physical abuse I would see it and I never have, but if I did I would take immediate action as should all parents.

    Sarah

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  5. By R.M., age 15, from Bowling Green, Ohio on 04/11/2015

    I totally agree with you, but my mom and sister don’t see it that way.  We have a 13 year old brother who must have begun puberty.  It didn’t bother me for him to see me naked when I was younger, but once I began puberty I was no longer comfortable with it and only am naked or in my underwear in our room that my sister and I share with the door closed.  I’m not modest about my body and have no problem with my mom and my sister seeing me naked, and my sister and I have no problem sharing the bathroom in the morning even “on the facility” to put it tactfully.  However, no way would I let my brother see me undressed, and as you say, it is just common sense.  I don’t think my brother looks at pornography although I can’t say for sure.  However, at his age he must have started having sexual feelings, and I do not want to do anything that would cause him to have those feelings toward me.

    But my sister and my mom still walk around nude and in their underwear in front of him, and I’ve noticed that he now seems uncomfortable.  I tried to tactfully tell my mom that I don’t think this is appropriate any more.  However, she just shrugged it off and said that the human body is nothing to be ashamed of among family members and said that everyone in her family was casual about nudity and it never did them any harm and that she grew up sharing a room with her brother and undressing in front of each other and it never caused a problem.  However, from what I’ve read in Straight Talk, this is not always the case and I do not believe that it is right for teenage brothers and sisters to see each other this way.

    R.M.

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    1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

      Dear R.M.—You are spot-on in your analysis of the situation and I feel badly for your brother having such clueless females in the household, especially running the household. Perhaps you could show your mom any one of our many columns on the topic (see search bar under Sex, then Nudity…. we have covered it a lot), or start with your sister and get her aligned and then together work on your mom. Where is your father in the picture? Is this something you could talk to him about confidentially? He might be able to have an influence as well. There’s probably some way you can tweak the system and if not, sometimes these things come down to the boy himself, and he just has to demand his female relatives be clothed. Perhaps you can introduce him to reading Straight Talk every week as this topic seems to come up very regularly…. as Sarah (above) has duly noted, lol. Good luck to your family and especially your brother from me. –Love, Lauren

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  6. By S., age 18, from Northern California on 04/11/2015

    I am an “in the closet” lesbian and have become hooked on pornographic pictures of females which I was able to easily buy on-line.  I have to be very careful to hide it because I know that my mom would freak out if she just knew that I was gay even if she didn’t know I was looking at this.  But I just can’t resist looking at it and masturbating to it.  Just like the guys who have written, it also has caused me to have perverted thoughts toward my 13 year old stepsister who shares my room and bed during visitations.  She considers me to be like a “big sister” to her and therefore has no shyness about nudity in front of me, and has no idea that I have perverted thoughts about her.  I have not acted on my thoughts and think that I continue to keep myself from doing so.  However, I sometimes feel tempted when I see her nude or when we’re in bed together, but I don’t see how I can tell her that she shouldn’t undress in front of me or tell my mom that we shouldn’t be sharing a bed without explaining the reason.  I was already gay, but getting hooked on pornography definitely has made the problem worse.

    S.

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    1. By R., age 17, from Sonoma County, CA on 04/12/2015

      To S,

      You need separate beds and need them now!  I am also gay and in the closet.  Nobody knows that I’m gay except my girlfriend who everyone thinks is just my best friend and so far we have been able to get away with this pretext.  We are able to get away with this as “nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors” as the Charlie Rich song says.  However, a couple of years ago I developed a huge crush on my stepsister.  She is totally straight and had a boyfriend, so I knew that a relationship would never be possible, so I was able to keep my feelings to myself.  As other girls who are gay have written, I normally did not feel any sexual stimulation when I saw straight girls nude.  However, due to my crush on my stepsister, who has a very attractive body, seeing her nude when we shared a room during visitations drove me crazy with sexual feelings.  Fortunately, we did not have to share a bed but if we had, I don’t know what I might have done.

      You don’t need to tell your mom that you have sexual feelings toward your stepsister.  Just tell her that you’re not comfortable sharing a bed.  There can be many reasons for this, like she moves around too much and keeps you awake or pulls the covers off you, etc., but come up with some kind of reason as based on my experience, this is a very dangerous situation and I know that you would feel very guilty if you did anything sexual with your younger stepsister.  Since she doesn’t know you are gay, she will probably continue not to be shy about nudity in front of you as was my stepsister, but if you’re not in the same bed you should be able to prevent anything bad from happening. 

      R.

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      1. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

        Dear R: Thank you a million times for taking the time to help S by sharing your story. –Love, Lauren

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    2. By LAUREN, from StraightTalkAdvice.org on 04/13/2015

      Dear S –I’m grateful to R. for sharing her experience. She is exactly right about how easy it is to ”just tell her that you’re not comfortable sharing a bed.  There can be many reasons for this, like she moves around too much and keeps you awake or pulls the covers off you, etc.,” (I’m quoting directly from R.)  I would also recommend turning your head when she dresses or find reasons to leave the room. Finally, make an effort to get off porn. It will not serve you in relationships or love or anything. It’s junk food and your sexual system suffers from it. If you have trouble, ask to see a counselor about it. Again, most parents won’t question why you want to see one. Just say you’re working out some stuff and you’re okay. –Love, Lauren

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  7. By S, age 24, from Mumbai, India on 03/28/2016

    I am 24 years old. Its been 33 days since I stopped porn, masturbation and orgasming. I had a gf and we broke up last year and ive been under severe depression since then. Since it was lent i stopped smoking permanently as well as PMO. Today i got triggered by random online chats and started using tumblr for nudity but not porn. Even though it turned me on will it reverse the effects by just watching some nudity today”? I didnt masturbate or anything. I was just aroused but thats it. I am develpoing self control but is every and any kind of visual stimuli harmful. Also since me and my gf were very sexually active i have sexually charged dreams at times and i used to pleasure myself to her images even after we broke up or just memories of us doing it. Ive stopped doing that now since the last 33 days.

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