Straight Talk Advice

Teen pressured to get “junk” jewelry to fit in

Aug 25, 2015

Genital and nipple piercings dangerous and illegal for minors

Dear Straight Talk: My sister, 16, is under intense peer pressure to pierce her breasts and pudendum. The leader of her group ostracizes girls who won’t go along. I’m okay with waxing, but I would never pierce and bejewel my private parts and my friends aren’t doing it either. Her group has found a low-priced black-market piercer. I’ve told her how dangerous this is, but she’s seriously considering it. One of her friends proudly stripped to show us her body jewelry. I told her it looked stupid and slutty. Should I mind my own business or tell our mom? — R.C., 17

Molly 23, Oakland, California Ask me a question

NO, NO, NO! Tell your mom. Nipple and genital piercings are illegal till 18, even with parental consent. Black-market piercers don't take into account jewelry quality (only use implant-grade titanium; surgical steel is a myth and often contains nickel which causes allergic reactions), sterilization (observe single-use gloves, needles, equipment, jewelry, etc., being removed from sealed packages), or anatomy differences (rejections or mistakes can cause bleeding, scarring, infection, or nerve damage). Genital and nipple piercings take months to heal so don't let her get pierced by a non-professional. But please, calling someone with body modifications “slutty” only promotes judging women as slutty based on appearance.

Karlee 18, Bentleyville, Pennsylvania Ask me a question

Nipple piercings are becoming quite popular and aren’t too big a deal, however I refrain because of risks to breastfeeding. My navel, pierced at 13, closed up three times, and I’m over piercings. Genital piercing is super dangerous — especially black market. This area is extremely prone to injury and infection. Plus, who’s she showing off to? It does seem slutty. I support self-expression, but not at risk of physical or emotional health.

Elle 19, Boca Raton, Florida Ask me a question

I don't know anyone with “junk” jewelry. A black-market genital piercing makes me cringe. The scare tactics are real, so make her aware of the hazards, infections, etc. Show her this column. These friends won’t last anyway.

Kira 22, Moraga, California Ask me a question

This is the most disgusting peer pressure I’ve heard of. Your sister needs some new friends. Do not let her go through with this. She’ll regret it for the rest of her life.

Lisa 23, Eugene, Oregon Ask me a question

What dumb peer pressure. Body jewelry is definitely getting popular for displaying uniqueness or sexual empowerment. While not necessarily wrong for adults, her motivating factor and age are wrong. Getting pierced in such sensitive areas is a big deal safety-wise and going black market is a terrible idea. If it gets infected, Mom finds out anyway — and she has a much bigger problem. Tell her that other young people (like us) agree with you. Emphasize her safety and avoid being judgmental.

Shel 19, Pleasanton, California Ask me a question

Tell your mother. This is no ordinary accessory, she’s permanently altering her body. Black-market piercings are dangerous and when someone's at risk, it's okay to tell.

Samantha 23, Toledo, Ohio Ask me a question

When I was a high school freshman, a sophomore “kindly” showed a whole party his penis-tip piercing. What a turn off. Why did he need this at 16? Ditto for your sister. If she's having sex already, she needs a priority shakedown. Perhaps my own poor teen decisions make me old-fashioned, but genital piercings (if desired) should be kept private and within a mature relationship. (My mom always said it’s okay to be “slutty” with your husband.) If a clitoral nerve is punctured, tell her to forget orgasms forever. Inform your mother.

Dear R.C.: More jewels: Nipple and genital piercings take 6-18 months to heal (infection auto-renews with friction or snagging); constant cleaning required; zero tolerance for bodily fluids, swimming, bathing, hot tubbing, touching jewelry without washed hands; potential damage to both breastfeeding and sexual function from scar tissue, abscesses, nerve or tissue damage.* Black-market bonuses: tetanus, HIV, hepatitis and STDs.

Who drinks this Kool-Aid? Unfortunately, many. It's illegal for minors, so promise your sister that you’ll tell your mom if she does it. Make sure she knows you’re promising, not threatening — if she goes forward. I encourage young people to rebel against this time-consuming hazardous superficiality. Spending money, time and energy building real identity capital will net far greater sex appeal.

*There are many more links for all the potential dangers to both males and females (including impotence in males and lack of orgasm in female), Wikipedia and reputable piercing clinics included. 

Editor’s Note: This column is right on cue. Just as we were contemplating this question, performer Lenny Kravitz accidentally revealed his bedizened penis during a recent wardrobe malfunction. It shows the lack of stigma and “cool factor” of genital piercings (however, Kravitz is nowhere close to being a minor).

Because genital jewelry isn’t of one’s own flesh, but literally chosen and purchased, there is a huge human propensity to want to show them off. You see this over and over again with breast implants, where normally a woman would never show her breasts to acquaintances, she does just that, excitedly exposing the neighbors and other day-to-day folks, like she would do for anything else she had purchased that she is proud of.

I've experienced it myself, most notably in a gym I used to belong to in Sacramento. A 70-year-old woman working out next to me began chatting about all the plastic surgery she’d had over the years and how she’d had her breasts done for the second time and “come, come, let me show you!” and she starts waving me toward the bathroom. (I’m not making this up!)  I‘d seen her there a couple times, but hadn't spoken to her previously. Stunned, I follow her to the restroom. Ick! They were newly done and the nipple had obviously been cut and moved and wasn’t healed yet. (I hate surgical stuff.) The kicker: when we were heading back out, she wasn’t pulling her blouse back down and I had to pull the door shut and instruct her to do so. (Note to self: Finish all plastic surgery before senility sets in.) Later I realized this could have more pride operating, not senility at all.

Genital and nipple jewelry is even more enticing to show, as it is decorative by nature. That’s why R.C. describes her sister’s friend as “proudly” stripping to show off her jewelry. In fact, “body pride” is the unfortunate term use to promote genital and nipple jewelry. Sadly, young people are naïve to the negative emotional and psychic effects of having others objectify their reproductive body parts via exposure. I hope this fad is short-lived and people go back to modifying themselves the old-fashioned way, from the inside out. —Lauren

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  1. By Marci, age 17, from Fair Oaks, CA on 08/25/2015

    At a recent slumber party, one of the girls said that she had something to show everybody. I was shocked when she stripped naked to show off the jewelry on her recently pierced breasts and vulva.  We just laughed at her and one girl said “How stupid!”  She got really upset and started crying and said she couldn’t believe how mean we were being.  I guess it was mean to laugh at her and call her stupid, but I still think that it was in fact stupid.

    If my own sister was thinking about doing this, I would definitely try to talk her out of it due to the risks involved.  Since we share a room and see each other naked, I would know long before our mom since she hardly ever sees us naked.  I don’t think my sister would do something so stupid, but I would certainly do everthing possible to stop her even if I had to get her in trouble with our mom.


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  2. By S.A., age 18, from Santa Ana, CA on 08/25/2015

    If I had known in advance that my little sister who is only 16 was going to get her breasts and vulva pierced, I definitely would have done everything I could to stop her even if it meant telling our mom when we normally don’t tell on each other and there have been times that she could have gotten me in trouble by telling on me but kept quiet, but it was nothing like this.  She got herself pierced illegally and of course due to peer pressure.  However, I didn’t find out until she undressed that night in our room and showed me.  She couldn’t understand why I was so mad at her for doing this even though I tried to explain to her about the dangers. 

    She had recently asked me to help her wax for the first time since I’m experienced at it and have helped some of my friends with it which I had no problem with.  However, if I knew that it was a prelude to having her vulva pierced which it turned out to be, I never would have.  What’s done is done and it can’t be undone, so I don’t see what good it would do to tell our mom at this point and get her in trouble (and she would be in major trouble).  Since I’m her big sister who she shares a room with she’s very casual about her nudity in front of me, so I’ve been watching for any signs of infection while trying not to be to obvious about it.  So far, I haven’t noticed any problem, but if I do I will definitely make her go to our mom so that she can get medical attention and if I have to I will tell our mom myself. 


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  3. By R.W., age 17, from Lodi, California on 08/26/2015

    My girlfriend got pierced and I really wish she hadn’t done it.  She has a stepsister the same age who lives with her and she shares a room with and they also have become best friends.  Her stepsister is by far the dominant one and my girlfriend thinks she has to do whatever her stepsister does.  First her stepsister started waxing, so she thought she had to wax and had her stepsister help her do it.  I actually liked her better natural and found sex to be better, but I don’t feel I can tell her that.  Then her stepsister got pierced on both her breasts and pudendums and started wearing jewelry there which I also find awkward during sex.  She had it done legally at a place that is licensed, so hopefully they follow all of the health regulations and she won’t get infected.  She convinced her mom to sign the consent form who would have had a hard time saying no since her stepdad had already allowed her stepsister to do it.  Since she was nervous about it, especially since it was being done by a guy, she even had her mom and stepsister right there with her when she was having it done.

    She didn’t even bother to ask me what I thought about it ahead of time.  When she showed me and asked me what I thought, I felt that I had to give my approval and tell her that it looks great, when in fact I agree with the others who have written who say that this makes a girl look like a slut. I learned the hard way that when a girl asks you anything about her appearance, you damn well better say it looks great whether it does or not.  Girls don’t want an honest opinion even if they say so.  I lost one girlfriend because she got her hair cut really short and asked my honest opinion,  and I told her that I liked it better when she had longer hair.  She got really upset and walked away and that’s the last time she ever even spoke to me.  So now if a girl asks me what I think, I always say they look great whether its true or not (even body jewelry on their private parts).


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  4. By Mark, age 16, from Fontana, CA on 08/26/2015

    I would also consider this slutty in a girl and don’t see the point in it.  My girlfriend and I aren’t to the point where I would see her nude and I don’t know if we ever will be, so I don’t even know if she does this and I certainly hope she doesn’t and I don’t think she would but I don’t know for sure and this certainly isn’t something I’m going to ask her about. 

    However, I think my sisters may be getting some peer pressure about this and I hope they don’t give into it.  Their room is right next to my room and the walls in our apartment are very thin so I hear just about everything that goes on in their room.  I don’t think they realize it, but I hear them talking with each other and their friends about female issues that I don’t want to hear and don’t think they would want me to hear, but I’m not comfortable telling them what I’ve been hearing and to talk more quietly about certain things. 

    From what I’ve heard, they help each other wax and I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with that.  It doesn’t sound like they’ve gotten pierced either (except their ears like most girls do).  However, when a friend of theirs spent the night recently, it sounded like she was nude and showing them her body jewelry and they were admiring it.  I don’t know if they were just being nice or they really like the idea, but I’m afraid that they may be getting the same kind of peer pressure about it that others have written about.  I hope it never happens, but I don’t know what I would do if I heard them making plans to do it illegally behind our mom’s back, but I wouldn’t put that past them.


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  5. By R.W., age 43, from Carmichael, CA on 08/27/2015

    I am a single father of twin 16 year old daughters.  Their mother is out of the picture for reasons too complicated to go into.  I would never allow them to pierce their pudenda or breasts and wear jewelry there as long as they are minors.  I am aware that they wax their pudenda and assist each other with it, and do not have any problem, but body piercing is a different story.  However, I do not know how I would ever find out if they did it behind my back.  The same is true of many other things that have been written about such as anorexia, cutting, and signs of physical abuse that can only be seen when some is undressed.  A mother can find reasons to see her daughters nude, but as a single father I do not feel that I can.  Their room does not have a lock and they have never indicated a need for one, as I have always knocked and made sure that they are properly clothed before entering their room.  The twins are very close, and I know that they would never tell on each other if there was a problem with one of these issues, so I do not know how to deal with this as a single father with teenage daughters.


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    1. By LAUREN, from on 09/02/2015

      R.W.—You’re in a very challenging situation. To all single parents, build your network of family and friends, especially females in your case (or males in a single mother’s case). That balance helps a lot as you can see. And while a friend or relative won’t be as good as a mom would be, it helps. If you bring this person into your life on a regular basis, eventually the girls may decide she is safe and they will share things with her that they don’t with you. And even if they don’t confide in her, she is there as your surrogate in the case you do need to demand they “show” themselves…

      IN THE MEANTIME, while you’re investing in building this village, talk to the girls separately and together and admit your handicap. Have a straight-up honest conversation about all the ways you are handicapped that you have discussed here. Get in the habit of sharing Straight Talk with them and discuss it over whatever meal you have together. Straight Talk is a great icebreaker because you can ask them, for instance, who on the panel they most agree with (an innocent enough question) and a discussion can ensue from there. The key is be curious and nonjudgmental. Start with this column and after listening to everything, tell them this is not allowed in your family, period. It’s amazing how much power there is in simply stating the rules of the family. Don’t add consequences, which imply that the rule can be broken. Just state the rule as a “fact of life” in this family. BTW, to state rules isn’t judging, it’s just stating rules, which kids actually like. You can do it without dissing anyone or assassinating anyone’s character, which should always be avoided if you want their respect. The rule is because you’re the dad, that’s the way it is, and you care and want them to have a happy, healthy, successful life.

      Also tell them, not necessarily in the same conversation, that because of your handicap, you NEED them to care about each other, too, enough to come to you if one of them is in trouble. Tell them right there in front of both of them, that nobody will be in trouble, that this is to keep them OUT of trouble. That you are there, you are safe, you will always listen to them, love them, defend them, protect them, and nothing they do will ever make you stop believing in them….

      You can’t say this kind of thing too often! Always be inquiring about their lives with great curiosity (as opposed to a judgmental vibe), listen carefully, build them up at every possibility, and find teachable moments to share your rules and philosophy about being a good person. The higher your expectations of them, the more they will want to meet them. I hope this helps you, it’s a long answer but I wanted to cover a few things. You sound like a great parent and your girls are lucky to have you! –Love, Lauren

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  6. By Jodi, age 17, from Redding, California, United States on 08/28/2015

    It boggles my mind that so many girls are giving in to peer pressure to do this these days.  I can’t even imaging having someone pierce my nipples and/or vulva.  Just the thought of it makes me cringe!  Most girls I know who are doing this aren’t even doing it to impress guys as they aren’t in the type of relationships where their boyfriends would be seeing this.  They’re just doing it to conform and show off to other girls which to me makes no sense. 

    I don’t have a problem seeing other girls nude (or them seeing me).  Even so, I’m still uncomfortable when friends expect me to stare at the jewelry on their breasts and vulva so that they can show it off.  If I indicate that I’m uncomfortable, I get “we’re all the same.”  I know this, and I agree that there is nothing wrong with girls seeing each other nude, but I still don’t think it means that we need to stare at each others privates!  My stepsister recently got herself pierced (legally, with her mom’s consent).  Now when we share a room on visitations she’s always wanting to strip and show me her latest body jewelry and ask what I think.  As R.W. says, most girls don’t really want an honest opinion when they ask about their appearance whether it’s from their boyfriends or other girls, so I always tell her that it looks great rather than upset her and make waves, but I would rather not have to even look at it. 


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  7. By MaryAnne, age 16, from Medford, Oregon on 08/28/2015


    You sound like a kind and caring single dad who respects his daughters’ privacy.  My sister and I also live with our single dad, so I know that it isn’t an easy assignment when you can’t really deal with the female issues that teenage girls face.  Our dad found a good and easy solution to the issue that you raise, and while it wouldn’t work for body piercing, it would work for all of the other issues you mention.  I felt that my sister was anorexic as we share a room and I could see the wasted state of her body when she was naked, but of course he could not see her this way.  As with others I have read about, she was able to hide her condition with the way she dressed.  We also shared the bathroom in the morning.  I’ll spare the gory details for obvious reasons, but I could also see that her condition was causing her serious issues with her bowel functions.  When I told our dad about her condition, she denied it.  What he did was have her put on her 2 piece bathing suit (which would hardly stay on her since she was now so thin) and he could easily see her condition without her having to expose anything private and he made get the help that she needed.  This would also work with things such as cutting or signs of physical abuse as you do not need to see someone’s private parts to see evidence of these things.  I don’t know the answer when it comes to something like body piercing and body jewelry, but it would work for almost anything else.


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    1. By LAUREN, from on 09/02/2015

      MaryAnne—Indeed it would work for just about everything! Thank you for sharing what your dad did. Requiring to be seen in a 2-piece bathing suit is completely appropriate. And kudos to you for telling your dad about your sister’s condition.—Love, Lauren

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  8. By Sandra, age 34, from Toledo, Ohio on 08/29/2015

    My 9 year old daughter shares a room with her teenage stepsisters on visitations with her father.  From what she tells me, her stepsisters are very good to her and she looks up to them as role models since she is an only child and does not have a sister of her own.  Since she shares a room with them, she sees them nude when they undress.  I see nothing wrong with this as I had 2 older sisters with whom I shared a room, and seeing them nude never did me any harm.  When she first started sharing a room with them, she could not help but notice the difference between her body and their mature bodies such as their mature breasts and pubic hair and was curious about it and asked me about it.  I felt that her curiosity was normal as I remembered being curious when I saw my own sisters’ bodies maturing.  I just explained that this happens when girls get older and would happen to her body some day.  She seemed satisfied with the explanation and never raised the issue again.

    However, recently she noticed her stepsisters wearing body jewelry on their breasts and vulva.  She was fascinated with it and says she can’t wait to wear it herself when she is older.  While I have no problem with my daughter seeing her stepsisters nude, I have a major problem with their exposing her to body jewelry.  I do NOT approve of this and will never allow my daughter to do this as long as she is a minor.  Since they are making no attempt to hide their body piercings, I assume that their mother has allowed this.  I obviously have no parental authority over my ex husband’s stepdaughters and what they are allowed to do is none of my business.  However, it does become my business when my 9 year old daughter is exposed to it.  I therefore do not know how to handle this as I do not want to appear to meddling in their affairs, but I do not want my daughter to get the impression that this is acceptable.


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    1. By LAUREN, from on 09/02/2015

      Sandra—This is way too mature a situation for a 9-year-old. This would not be acceptable for me if I was in your shoes. You have a daughter to protect, and thus it’s not meddling to tell your ex and his wife about this.  The mother may or may not know. What is relevant is that they need to provide her age-appropriate accommodations, and until that time, your daughter can visit her dad for dinners but not stay-overs. I would just put it to him like that. I can’t imagine any child custody mediator not agreeing with you that he needs to provide this for her when you tell him/her what you just told us here. I’m not saying it will come to that unless he fights it, and many won’t bother fighting. Demand it and follow through and see what happens. I encourage you and also encourage you to encourage them to let this be a confidential discussion, not involving any of the girls in side-chatter. Let me know how it goes. If you haven’t already, tell your daughter, fact of life, this kind of jewelry is not allowed for her. That she got you as a mom, and them’s the rules, period. Good luck with this.—Love, Lauren

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  9. By Pamela, age 41, from Santa Rosa, CA on 08/30/2015

    My 17 year old daughter wanted to have her breasts and vulva pierced and wear jewelry there due to peer pressure since “all her friends” were doing it and she felt out of place at slumber parties where they show each other their body jewelry and she and nothing to “show.”  I refused to allow this, and she was very angry.  I remained firm and told her that she would be 18 and legally an adult in less than a year and could do as she chooses, but as long as she needed my consent I would not allow it.  However, her 16 year old sister with whom she shares a room and sees her nude confided in me that she had done it illegally behind my back.  My younger daughter did want me to tell her that she had informed me because her sister had threatened her with retaliation if she told on her.  We therefore used the system that has been recommended in Straight Talk whereby we had a verbal signal that my younger daughter could use to alert me when her sister was nude and had her body jewelry on.  I was therefore able to “catch” her, and she did not seem to suspect her sister’s complicity.

    The piercing cannot be undone, but I have grounded her and also forbidden her to wear the jewelry.  I now periodically at random times require her to completely undress for me to see if she is wearing the jewelry and to check for any signs of infection, as I am very concerned since she had it done illegally by an unlicensed individual.  She is furious and claims that this is a major invasion of privacy.  However, in my opinion this is her own fault since I would not be doing this if she had not defied me.  Also, I see nothing wrong with a mother seeing her own daughter nude when there is a valid reason for it.  Additionally, she had never before been shy about my seeing her nude, so I do not think that modesty or a need for privacy is the real issue.  Rather, I believe that it is anger for my not allowing this and checking to make sure that she is complying with what I am requiring her to do.


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    1. By Ella, age 19, from Boca Raton, FL on 08/31/2015


      I just wanted to comment and say “thank you” for the actions you’ve taken to be a responsible parent. It’s incredibly refreshing to see a parent who is invested in their children’s lives and is firm in their decisions and choices. I also give a huge thumbs up to the younger sister; telling on a sibling can be nerve-wracking. Your relationship with her seems to foster security in difficult situations, which is invaluable. Continue to encourage her to be open about things, especially in her life.

      Also, wonderful use of a verbal signal. And the fact that you have followed up with grounding your daughter and occasionally checking for the piercings is equally great. It’s more work, yes, but it drives home your point.

      Thanks for being a responsible parent who is willing to take some heat for your parenting choices! When she has children, I’m sure she’ll look back on this and realize how smart you handled things.

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    2. By Barbara, age 42, from Lodi, CA on 08/31/2015

      I also agree that the way you handled the situation was totally appropriate.  As you say, it is her own fault as it is her own misbehavior that created the need for you to check her nude body and as her mother it is not an unreasonable invasion of privacy under the circumstances.  I would do the same if it were one of my daughters.  I also think it is important for a mother to see her daughters’ bodies from time to time to check for any of the many issues of concern that have been written about in Straight Talk that can only be seen when someone is undressed.  I don’t make my daughters strip for me.  Instead,  from time to time at random times I find a reason to go into their room when they are likely to be dressing or undressing.  I always knock first and they do not have a problem with my coming in their room when they are undressed or nude.  So far, I have not seen anything that has raised any concern, but it eases my mind to check once in a while.


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    3. By LAUREN, from on 09/02/2015

      Pamela—You are absolutely in the right and I’m glad Ella and Barbara confirmed that. Parents who aren’t trying to win popularity contests wind up, at the end of the day, the most popular. Kids want our strength to test against. The caveat is that you have to 100% avoid character assassinations or character put downs. Those will cause a lack of respect (of both you and themselves). (And if you screw up and call them a name or make a nasty prediction about their life, apologize profusely—it’s all you’ve got to redeem yourself.) It’s very uncool to call a child names or negatively project their future. All rules and boundaries can be placed without resorting to that. BTW, I’m not saying you did that, you sound like a great mom! I’m throwing that in for others who read this thread. :)—Love, Lauren

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  10. By Janice, age 16, from Petaluma, CA on 08/30/2015

    My sister and I have no interest in piercing ourselves (except our ears), but we have seen it on friends and are not impressed.  However, our mom who is 44 years old got her nipples pierced and started wearing jewelry there!  Our parents are divorced and she’s not even in a relationship right now, so it’s not to impress a man.  She says she did it to “feel good about herself” which makes no sense to us.  She takes off her top to show her female friends when they come over and we can literally see them rolling their eyes, but she doesn’t seem to notice.  The worst part is that she’s started showing it off to our friends.  I’m just talking about girl friends, but even so we find this VERY, VERY embarrassing.  They’re polite to her face, but just laugh at her behind her back and word about it has spread which we find very humiliating.  I guess we should be thankful that at least she hasn’t pierced her vulva to show off to our friends, but who knows if that might be coming next!

    We think it’s some kind of midlife crisis or hormonal imbalance that’s causing her to act this way, but we really wish she would find a better outlet!  She’s also decided that we’re entitled to no privacy and since our room doesn’t have a lock she thinks she can just barge in whenever she feels like it.  Since she’s our mom, we don’t care if she comes in when we’re undressing or even if we’re naked as she has many times, but we don’t like being barged in on without warning at a time like that even by our mom.


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    1. By LAUREN, from on 09/02/2015

      Janice—Didn’t I say people love to show them off? Please know that it’s totally okay to tell your mom straight up NO you may NOT show your friends. NO MORE. NOT ONE MORE TIME. Tell her you love her but you cannot support this boundary violation, plain and simple. As I wrote to Pamela above, just set this rule with her while avoiding character assassinations.  If you are firm and serious, speaking in a parental tone it should work. I would also consider confiding in one of her saner friends about this and asking her to help you communicate this to her if that would be helpful. Let us know how it goes.—Love, Lauren

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  11. By Debbie, age 17, from Roseville, California on 08/31/2015

    I agree that it is valid for a mother to check her daughter’s body IF there is evidence that she has done something wrong and cannot be trusted as in the situation described by Pamela.  However, my sister and I have done nothing wrong and given our mom no reason to believe that we cannot be trusted.  Even so, she’s totally paranoid due to horror stories that she has heard from others about the types of troubles teenagers get into, most of which have been subjects of Straight Talk columns.  Therefore, she constantly searches our room when we’re not there even though she’s never found anything.  She even goes so far to randomly make us strip so that she can check our bodies for any evidence of something wrong.  Again, she has never found anything as there is nothing to find.  We can’t even leave on our thongs, but must strip all the way as she believes that waxing and body jewelry are “sinful” so she has to check us even in the most private part of our bodies.  She says that we shouldn’t care about her searching our room if we have nothing to hide and there’s nothing wrong with her seeing us naked since we’re girls and she’s our mother.  We wouldn’t really care if she just came in our room sometimes when we’re undressing as Barbara describes, but we do find it an invasion of privacy to have to strip and stand there naked in front of her while she looks our bodies over, even though she’s our mother when we have done nothing wrong.


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