Straight Talk Advice

Feb 13, 2008

Consequences of sex affect everyone

Dear Straight Talk: Are you aware of the dual standard in your advice to “No name please?” (Website, JAN 23) You talked about how easy it is for guys to “run” from a pregnancy, then, in the next line you said that guys, by law, must pay child support for 18 years! That doesn’t sound much like running! Especially when the girl can end her involvement instantly by an abortion or adoption! Which of these sounds more like running? Sure, guys need to take responsibility for their actions and learn to respect girls, but as long as girls are watching Entertainment and MTV, using Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan as role-models, doing ANYTHING to attract guys, there will be guys to give them what they want.



Todd



Dear Todd: Thanks for a male perspective. The female panelists responded in droves. I’ll turn the floor over to them.



From Farren, 20



Paying child support will never make up for a guy deciding he wants nothing to do with raising his child. Abiding by a law that protects mothers from complete poverty is different than being there. Also, many fathers do not pay child support. I’m not saying every father must stand by his child no matter what, but seriously, how is it not easier for them to run away? They aren’t carrying the child in their womb, they aren’t responsible for delivering the child, breastfeeding the child, raising the child — or making the painful decision of abortion or adoption. Both parties are involved in pregnancy and both have consequences. There should be no finger pointing. Both need to be responsible for safe sex, whether that’s wearing a condom or using birth control. Nothing should be left to the other. As for Spears and Lohan, women have been sexually repressed for decades! Men can sleep around and that’s a normal thing; when girls do it they’re “sluts.” Dual standard you say?



From Mariah, 16



He made the choice to have sex and knows the consequences just as much as she does.



From Bird, 17



I don’t know one girl who idolizes Paris, Britney, or Lindsay. To see where they are now is truly shocking. We remember Britney in her pigtails and now she has two babies and is in rehab. It is sad that these girls make more news then the real issues.



From Kendal, 21



I’m supposed to believe that every girl who has a sexual relationship, and/or who is considering an abortion, is automatically a girl who dresses provocatively, watches mindless TV, worships the celebrities you mentioned, and deserves the situation she’s in? Give me a break.



From Sara, 19



I was taught to believe that abortion is awful and should not be allowed. After losing my mom, I looked to a boyfriend for comfort and I got pregnant. I was 17 and to this day I haven’t told my family. I was not using birth control. Dumb, I know, but I was scared my dad would find it. Some friends looked down on me for my decision, but my boyfriend and I knew we weren’t capable of raising a baby and I knew how upset my family would be if I followed it through. Maybe it was selfish, but I also wanted to go to college and pursue my career. I thought I’d be with my boyfriend forever, he’d even proposed to me. Six months after our ordeal we broke up. He was seeing another girl! Can you imagine being eight months pregnant with no family support and no boyfriend?



From Ashley, 20



When a girl has an abortion she is not necessarily running away because it sticks in her mind forever. Britney and Paris? Guys watch them, too, and have higher expectations and put pressure on girls to be “hot chicks.” It’s a two-way street.


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