Straight Talk Advice

Jul 14, 2004

Boy learns truth about his adoption

Dear Straight Talk: I’m a 13-year-old boy and I live with my dad. My stepmother died last year of cancer. When she was dying she told me that I was adopted, that my dad had adopted me with his first wife who left us when I was still a baby. She said she wanted to clear everything up before she passed on so I would know. Now, I don’t know what to do about it. My dad is really stressed out from her death and I don’t know if I should bother him with this.—Adopted and didn’t know it

Dear Adopted: My condolences on the loss of your stepmother. What she said to you was a shock and she obviously did this out of love for you thinking that perhaps she was your only link to this knowledge other than your adoptive father, who has not been forthcoming with you over the years. It is common for adopted children to shy away from being a “bother”, but I encourage you to find that calm, courageous spot within yourself and go to him with what you know. Perhaps there are other relatives you can contact also.  Tough as it is, the cat is out of the bag and you have to deal with it. Not dealing with it will take a much greater toll on you in the long run.


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